yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
