I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think your dad took our porno
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
