Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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