obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
