therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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