just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
