we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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