Tell her she can't have a vagina
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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