You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret