He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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