its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude