i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU