Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.

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(706): View more from Georgia

If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee

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(520): View more from Arizona

Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."

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(231): View more from Michigan

My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.

(847): View more from Illinois

I don't even know what to say right now

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(850): View more from Florida

I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.

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(631): View more from New York

She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE

(1-631): View more from New York

I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU

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