Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
