I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
