the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
