Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Buhtt sex?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
