Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
