Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
