We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
is wine microwaveable?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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