Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
