i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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