I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
