redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize