I heard we made out
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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