one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
