Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
