just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
