i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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