At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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