I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
