:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
