I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
