I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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