Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
