They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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