You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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