His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
