How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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