she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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