i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
