I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
