I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
