I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize