Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
