I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
