We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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