she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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