marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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