When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
