and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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