all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
