Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
