Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
