My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
