i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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