Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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