yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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