I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
