He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
why do cheetos always look like penises
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
