the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
