i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
