I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
