dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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