I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
