woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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