well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize