turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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