I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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