walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize