Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
