i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i out mim tonsoeep
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